alhamdulillah~

segala puji bagi Allah...

doa termakbul jua... 

ku panjatkan rasa syukur padaMu..

hati gembira tak terkata....

mudah2an ianya beterusan.... insyaAllah~

ombak rindu~

ulang..ulang lagu ni.............
mmg dh xde keje........
love it~

what a non productive weekend~

i feel so sad.. end up having fever since friday night... sudden onset.. with sleep disturbance at night.. i become so stress out.. on, saturday afternoon i thought i feel better but suddenly at night temp rised again.. i ended lying down.. sleep.. awake.. sleep.. awake..

i become so sensitive.. easily get angry, sad.. stress

there it goes my weekend.. no baking, no cooking good food.. all planned was cancelled..huh =(

uhuk..uhuk.. now i have recover from fever... but having sore throat & cough

tomorrow clinics start again..

when you become too close with somebody,

you can cross the line...

as a result,

you can hurt the other person without realizing it...

but..

you have realized that..

you care about that person more than anything else..

.............

thinking too much about something is really not good..

keep ponder upon it..urghhh such a mess..

owh God please help me.. show me the way..

can someone please lend the shoulder & ears..

i'll try keep myself busy & 

stop thinking too much....

setiaku di sini....

Ku terasa kesyahduan
menyelimut malam ku sepi
kumenanti kepulangan mu
kau janji-janjikan suatu masa dulu

Hanya kau kasih kau ku kasihi
kata-kata yang dilafazkan
mengikat jiwa dan cinta
hingga tak termimpi pengganti yang lain

Biar ku dicengkam gelisah
dibuai rindu yang mendalam
resah mendamba belaian mu
yang teramat ku dahaga

Kumasih lagi setia
biar pun takdir mencabar kita terpisah
ku masih lagi di sini
berpegang teguh kalimah cinta

Kubisikkan dalam tangisan
yang gugur berderai ke bumi
menjadi bingkisanku yang akhir
untuk bekalan jalanmu
mencari mahkota menghiasi pelamin kita

ragam time study~

mcm2 ragam.. mcm2 hal... bile ade exam next month... with the topics like everyhting in the books... urghh... masa mmg dh x cukup sgt la nak habiskan sume2. the best thing about me now is i'm getting interest to read big books... cthnyer antara davidson & harrison.. lebih suka nak baca harrisons.. same thing goes to surgery.... i only like to read bailey & love..... gile kaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!! adoi... x tau la nape.. kalo topic skit xpelah jugak... tp berjela2................ laaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! hishhh.. apehal ntah aku ni...

tu satu masalah... then, bile dah baca.. dh ok.. pastu kalo nak explain balik susah btul nak kuar2...... kalo org tanye nak jawab mcm ni... " i understand but i dont know how to explain..." xkan nak jawab depan doctor cmtuh... =.="

hmmm.. satu lagi problem... baca..baca.. & baca... tp x masuk2 dlm kepala.. mmg tension giler weiiiiii..!!! rs nak marah.. nak nangis... nak baling sume bnda... kalo smpai sudah x masuk2 cmne tuh..aaaaaaaaaaaaaarghhh!!! rs nak jerit kuat2..

the best thing malam2 exam mmg aku x kan stay up ke ape... no such thing la... sleep early is my style... habis x habis mmg belakang kire.... so, itu maksudnya aku kena habis revise before exam start, which means like impossible laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!

ok...malam ni mmg malam meroyan nak luahkan perasaan....

esok kena pegi byr bil phone nak call ayah nak luahkan perasaan...kena jugak!!

but one thing aku bersyukur sgt aku ade lecture notes... walaupun x brape nak lengkap, at least i have something to depends on..

oklah, nak gi sambung study~

once upon a time

hmm... what a boring a weekend.. doing nothing.. just spent my time at home... hah.. what a waste, i should have planned of something.. all the thing i do is just sit in front of my laptop... fb, twitters, gone through blogss, watch videos in youtube & memekak & tgk cerita kalo trasa nak tgk.... now my eyes are tired already...haishh =.=
baca buku mmg x nak lah kan...

ttiba jek trigt zaman sekolah dulu. i was once so naive, doesn't know about many things. been not exposed to many things. i was also a very punctual & very discpline. kalo ade anugerah full attendance mmg boleh dpt every year la kot. my routine daily life also been well scheduled. i was also being so independant, can take care of myself well and sgt x suka menyusahkan org.

now, i think i'm totally different. i have changed a lot. yeah, i think environment really change me.... A LOTTTT... being exposed to so many things..... with weak soul deep inside. i had gone through lots of things. yeah.. that's life.. it's learning all the way.... and depend on ourselves how to tackle everything. nobody is perfect..~

post exam review day 7

COMMUNITY MEDICINE PRACTICAL......

yeay!!! dh habis exam.... dh habis dh 3rd year.... dh masuk 4th year.. =.=
btw, hari ni exam ok jek... much.. much...much better than yesterday...
somehow, i love commed towards the end..=D
apepun.. my fren ade lg yg x habis exam... sampai hari jumaat nih..
my dear b sayang pun akan amek exam practical jumaat nih... all the best, k
x sabar nak balik.. mahu bertunang..huhu=p
ok, mahu berehat2...
selamat pulang kpd kawan2 yg trus pulang ke m'sia hari ni..=)

post exam review day 6

ENT PRACTICAL..

hari ni xde mood langsung nak buat review.... rs mcm truk jek...

i'm the 1st person for everything start dr viva smpailah present case...

dh la dpt case budak kecik.. pastu x sure sgt diagnosis pe... mcm ASOM, SOM.. ntah lerrrr..

pastu pagi2 dtg trus kena viva instrument, model & xray...

muka ext examiner yg sorg tu gile sarcastic. pagi2 lg muka dh muncung jek. what the hell!! trus jadi down..=(

byk jugak la soalan yg x dpt jawab... T_T

juz berharap utk pass jek...~

lagi satu nak comment skit la psl attitude...

tolonglah jgn tanye byk sgt kat org lain yg dh habis tu... tau x stress... dh la x dpt jawab soalan examiner.. penat tahan rase nak nangis, pastu korg bleh plak nak tanye byk.... tanye skit2 dh la... mcm korg jek ke nak amek exam.. hey, sorilah.. mmg rase irritated sgt kot td...........

dh la time tu nak pegi next viva lagi.... stresssss tau x!!

aku cuba sedaya upaya nak tahan nangis..

korg tu dh la ade byk masa nak bace.... byk mase nak discusss.. baca jek lah!!!!

ok, fine aku mmg stress sgt hari ni...

ok.. nak tido....

p/s: i'm not being selfish....... but

i'm stress & tired....... T_T

post exam review day 5

OPHTHALMOLOGY PRACTICAL...

alhamdulillah.. it went well..... lega kot...
mula2 kat rumah x rase apa2 pun... bile sampai jek kat hospital & teringat giliran org 1st ttiba rase mcm nak gugur jantung... rs mcm nak pengsan pun ade... baru sampai duduk jap jek dh trus masuk amek case..

CASE 1: mula2 dh la die citer psl foreign body masuk dlm mata lah... blablablala.... pastu tanye bile happen.. 14 years back.. apekah... =.=" pastu nak tau complain yg skrg... pastu ckp ade defective vision & watering of eye... hmm..oklah fine... pastu truskan jeklah.. yg sebenarnya aku pun xtau die ade ape.... last2 yg watering tu ckp jek dacryocystitis... examiner x tanye pun pasal defective vision tuh... soalan byk lah jugak.. cause of coloured haloes.. visual axes mcm mane nak check.. name test ape... aku baru tau yg kena suluh torch kat glabella.. pastu die tanye kalo normal so ape name condition... aku pun cm blurr.. pastu die ckp ortho.. konon nak surh aku smbung.. pastu trkeluar dr mulut ckp orthopnoea.. haha.. apekah... die bg hint2 psl squint...owh.. last2 baru tau orthotropia... yg psl dacryocystitis die tanye types... stage... pastu psl DCR & DCT... ni dh la x bace sgt...
pastu dh habis present case... die suruh describe card.... bleh la jwab.. pastu dr jude tanye what is anopia??? haha... nampak sgt slama ni main sebut jek tp x tau maksud... so x dpt lah jawab..;p

CASE 2: yg ni ok skit la... patient bleh ckp english.. educated.. x susah nak amek history.. juz ade pterygium jek. yg lain sume normal... tp time mula2 die tanye diagnosis aku mcm confuse skit antara pingucula & pterygium.. pastu die ckp pterygium.. then die surh define pterygium.. stage.. diff with pseudopterygium.. indication surgery & complication.. mostly bleh la jawab..
next.. drugs pulak.. dpt timolol maleate.. brape kali shari nak letak... mechanism.... ok, pastu die suruh cari drug glaucoma kat atas meja.. gile pening aku nak tgk name drug kat setiap kotak... nasib baik jumpe.... tadaaaa... tavoprost....yeay!! hmm.. boleh jawab!!
then, die bg cermin mata... haha.. yg ni part lawak skit.. aku tau dh tu utk rabun dekat + rabun jauh.. aku igt la depan die bi.... pastu bleh plak x igt name.. haha... lame aku sebut... biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.. last2 igt pun bifocal lens..haha.. pastu die tanye near vision mase umur bile.. aku jawab above 40yrs.. what is that condition call.. hmm yg ni mmg berhati-hati sbb takut trsebut presbycusis...lol

oklah.. itu saja utk hari ni..
esok ade practical ENT pulak... doakan kami sume=)

p/s: what i learnt today.... self-confidence is 

very important... when  u enter walk  confidently, 

smile & greet the examiners.. build good rapport

insyaAllah.... everything will be fine

and yg plg penting pakaian mesti kemas & 
be prepared la.. kalo x study langsung cmne  nak jawab..

1st anniversary..

19 march 2011....
it's our 1st anniversary......
alhamdulillah...

one year back...
we went out for dinner.. just talking2.. bising
pastu went back home...
chatting2 kat fb...
pastu ttiba main cabar2 nak tukar status in relationship kat fb..
x pasal2 jek kan... haha... bleh plak main2
it it as simple as that... =)

about one month back ++ before 19 march 2010
ttiba jek tertegur die kat fb smata-mata nak mintak lagu..
from there it all start...
pastu everyday kot ktorg contact each other... mase tu kawan jek la...
but dlm hati rs mcm ade something more.. tp xkan la nak tanya lebih2..
pastu trus kawan coz rs senang dgn die... and till the day we declare...=)



love u so much

DNA - Diyanah N Afif =)

ok... this is my present for our 1st anniversary...
song : kisah kita
composer: me
lyrics: me
keyboard: ninot punyerr....haha... tq so much.... dh byk berjasa dh...=)

terpaku.... aku kaku.. 

kita bertemu.. menjadi satu

oh cinta.. datang menyapa 

membawa pergi.. angin mendung...angin mendung.. hoho

terkisah layar hati

seribu mimpi.. kau & aku

oh kasih kan terus hadir..

tak pernah jemu selalu....selalu..hoho

dunia terasa indah.. 

hapuslah semua gundah

cerita kita bersama

tersemat di hati kita 

selamanya...

post exam review day 4

OPHTHALMOLOGY....
haha.... lambat pulak review~

oklah, nak review skit jek... the essay part was ok la.... at least i had answered all questions. btul ke salah tu xtau la..haha
ok yg susahnyer MCQ... dh baca topic tu pun rs mcm x baca pe2.... nampaknya lps ni kena baca without missing every single line & every single words....;p
that's all nak taip..
next week will come the really tough part for us.. PRACTICAL
i'll be having practical continously from Monday to Wenesday....=.="

bicara mata...huhu~

arghhhh... penat!
td mata ku mcm proptosis.... smgtlah katakan nak study... skrg ni eyelid dh mcm ptosis skit...
nasib baik la x blepharospasm terus..
hmm.. ttiba trfikir... kalo ade hordeolum, blepharitis ke mesti x leh nak study sbb sakit... chalazion xpe lagi, sbb x sakit juz nampak x cantik lerrr..huhu

cataract, retinopathy, glaucoma...... adoi byknyerr....
ttiba rs mcm ade diplopia....eh..eh..eh...
gulp...=p

just sharing - diet for pms

copied from here....

Okay, as women there are just some things that we typically associate with our periods. Chocolate, sweets, greasy comfort foods. But did you know that these foods actually can make your PMS symptoms worse?¹ Check out the dish on the foods to avoid and the grub to go for during your period. It may surprise you!

Foods to avoid during your period

• Caffeine elevates estrogen levels that increases symptoms of premenstrual syndrome (PMS). Cutting back on caffeine, which is found in tea, coffee, colas and chocolate, can relieve breast tenderness during your period.
• Alcohol increases premenstrual depression and headaches. Try to avoid it during your period.
• Sugar causes rapid swings in blood sugar levels, triggering mood swings. Avoid candy and sweets when you can.
• Salt increases water retention, which leads to bloating. Foods you should avoid include fast foods or anything else with more than 50 mg of sodium, like most chips.
• Avoid fatty and greasy foods such as beef, lamb and pork and eat fish and poultry instead.

What to eat instead

To beat your sweet tooth, eat complex carbohydrates like pasta, rice, beans, cereal and whole grains.

Vitamins A and D help you steer clear of pitfalls like acne and oily skin. Good sources include cantaloupe, raw carrots, cooked sweet potatoes, spinach, enriched milk and cereal.

Vitamin B6 helps relieve premenstrual cravings, fatigue, mood swings, fluid retention and bloating. You can find it in fish, eggs, nuts, bananas, potatoes, and the white meat of turkey and chicken.

Make premenstrual stress a thing of the past by eating broccoli, bell peppers, Brussels sprouts, citrus fruits, cranberry juice and cantaloupe, which are all rich in vitamin C.

Reference

1 Watson, Stephanie, “How PMS Works: Treatment for PMS: Diet,” (2006).

post exam review day 3

ENT a.k.a otorhinolarygology...... @ telinga, hidung & tekak....;p

patut nyer nak tido tp xpelah taip jap pastu tido......
first skali nak jerit dulu.... waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!! susah kot paper td!!!!!!!!!

ok, now let's start reviewing......

• MCQ : makkkkk... aiii susahnyer soalan.... ntah brape jek yg btul. rata-rata td byk hentam2 jek.... =(
• long essay.... boleh la
• short essay: haaaa.. yg ni lg la..... part yg ni rs mcm jwb gune common sense jek kot.. suka2 hati aku jek goreng2..rhinosporidiosis?? foreign body nose??? malignant otitis externa?? yg ni format jwapan sume same jek... intro skit... clinical features... treatment.. dh bace pun sepintas lalu jek.. mane nak igt sume point... x expect la nak kuar short essay...adoiii... punyerlah pulun duk baca otosclerosis, meniere's, csom... =( hmm... retropharygeal abscess tu bbrape line jek tulis sbb x igt... ok, fine!! arghhh!! waldeyer's ring aku lukis jek... igt nak explain skit last2 tuh ttiba time out.. so bubye lahh T_T
• short notes: yg ni boleh la jawab.. 1 soalan x jawab which is osteo-meatal complex.... hai.. lemah btul anatomy nih... hmm, soalan mcq pun byk anat...

kesimpulannya... hari ni paper ENT susah..... xde pun soalan yg slalu die tanye tuh.... geram!!

esok.. last paper theory..... OPHTHAL..... byk nak kena baca laaaaaa!!! tolong lah bertahan skit!!!

ok... nak tido.. bubye =(

entry di malam hari..eh.. salahla... awal pagi..

dh kul 2.30am... x tido lagi... study ke?? study jugak td, tp x bertahan lame..last2 duk menung2 depan laptop....
ok... bosan
nak stalk org pun dh penat.. x larat. sampai dh xde ape2 yg menarik utk stalk.
oklah.. ape nak ckp eh..
hmm... nampaknye my blog ni akan ade post tiap2 hari kot sepanjang exam. sbbnyer kat sini jek lah tempat yg ade utk luahkan rasa yg terpendam di hati..cewaahhh... lagi2 time tgh hormonal imbalance nih.... mmg macam2 rasa ade.... nak marah.. nak nangis... nak ketawa.. nak senyum... nak cemburu... haishhh... susah betul... kdg2 tu asyik rs x puas hati jek.... ahhhhhh.... cthnyer, kalo x tahu psl sthing yg kite nakkkk sgt tahu rs x puas hati... then bile dh dpt tahu pulak rs x puas hati jugak.... kan ke pening tuh... =.=
so.... kena duk diam2 jek
mak kata duk diam2 lah.....shhhhhhh!!!!!
dah pi tido sana...~

p/s: org lain ade tempat nak sembang2.....

sape nak sembang2 dgn saya.......

haishhhh... sudah2 lahhhh....

tido....................tido!!!

post exam review day 2

community medicine paper 2...

yahooooo!!!! dh habis jugak paper theory commed... lega kot.... walaupun practical x habis lagi tp lega jugak..

ok... nak review skit lah psl paper td...

mcq... ok jek la.... ade byk jugak yg x tau... x igt... yg part hepatitis nyer soalan mmg x dpt nak jwb sgt sbb x baca...

essay question..........hmmm, soalan mmg menarik.. most of the questions adalah soalan tutorial time revision class... mmg doctor commed nih nak bantu student kot...

soalan long essay psl risk approach tu mmg i'm expecting it lah... x sangka pulak btul2 masuk... alhamdulillah..

pastu soalan universal precaution HIV tuh pulak mmg semangat terlebih... siap lukis2.. xde keje sgt lah kan...

yg x brape nak dpt jawab is role of ASHA worker... adeh... napelah x trbaca... padahal pagi smlm faiz siap sebut2...pastu malam td dh brape kali kot tgk page tuh.... niat nak baca pagi before exam.. tp x bace jugak... check2 balik tgk2 ade 10 roles of ASHA nih... nah.. amek!!!

come to short notes pulak... 1 soalan x jawab... haha... Net Reproduction Rate...

pastu yg soalan World Health Day.. tuh pegi goreng2 jek.... rupe2nye baru tahu it is on 7th April.. and theme for this year is Antimicrobial resistance: no action today, no action tomorrow!! hmm.. nampak sgt general knowledge kurenggg...;p

hmm.. panjang lah pulak review hari nih.... mentang2 lah esok ade break jap... exam will be continued on Thursday..yeay!! let's study!!!!

post exam review day 1

community medicine paper 1...
hmm.. nampaknyer mostly sume org happy dpt jawab dgn baik paper td.... alhamdulillah...
me.. sedikit sedih ( sikit jek... x byk pun..=.=) sbb maybe 1 question for short essay i had answered totally wrong things... T_T...........
but for other question boleh la jawab jugak.... coz at least i could write some facts not merapu jek...
mcq.. almost 50% are more or less the same as 3rd IA question... tp tu pun x tahu btul ke x.. dh sape suruh x check jawapan hari tu...
but overall alhamdulillah....
all the best for the next paper...!

p/s: tapi sebenarnya kan  asyik trigt2 

jek soalan yg dh tersalah jwb td tuh..

gerimis senja...

eh.. esok exam final kot.. sempat lagi pulak nak update...
ok... i dont know why hari ni seharian duk layan lagu nih.....
ttiba jek...
ok, juz wanna share this....
"batin ku menjerit namun tiada suara......."
kalo nyanyi kuat2 nih mcm best jek... errkkkk.. kang ade yg terkejut pulak.... =.="

i won't let go....

i won't let go by Rascal Flatts.....

angan-angan & impian~

manusia punya angan-angan & impian.... tapi itu bukan suatu kepastian...

impian itu mungkin seluas lautan... 

angan-angan itu mungkin tinggi sampai awanan...

manusia tak henti-henti mencipta janji...

janji untuk menggengam impian....

ke depan... merangkak, bertatih, berjalan, & berlari akhirnya...

manusia leka...

lupa ada kuasa yang lebih besar...

menguji hati manusia...

bile rasa impian itu dekat.... gembira...

bila jatuh.....

manusia buat apa...

terus saja tersungkur....??

termenung & meraung...???

manusia mana yg mahu bangun semula..?? 

angan-angan & impian...

usah disia-siakan....

bila jatuh...bangunlah semula....

aku juga manusia~

shoes.....

we are not in the same shoes.. so, i can't feel you...

let me share that shoes with you... so i can feel you...

i wish i could...

but somehow in reality... i could just be next to your shoes (not inside them..)

and give place for your shoes to lean on.. but still i can't feel you..

that's the truth...

when i'm too over excited exercise....~

hahaha.... ntah la kenape hari ni.. ttiba rajin pulak nak exercise... yg best nyer dh sampai terlebih2....

pagi2 lepas subuh.... dh buat sit-up ( guna abs slimmer, ok) 50 kali..... waaaahhh!!! byknyer... tp rs mcm ok jek pagi td....

pastu petang bleh plak nak pegi gym........... main mcm2... misi utama nak berlari. dh lame sgt miss my jogging routine, gara2 mcm sebab, temasuklah masalah penat & malas....... duk la kat gym tu 1 jam.... habis main2 sume bnda trus rase pening...

hmm... adekah dh terlebih2 sgt exercise hari ni....?? mungkinkah badan sgt terkejut... 

skrg ni rase dh x larat... pening2.... yg bestnyer my abdomen rase mcm spasm la pulak.. adoi, pagi td mcm ok jek.... lambat plak side effect dtg.............

sdg cuba utk BERTAHAN....

hahaha... xde kena mengena pun dgn video... sbb tajuk BERTAHAN, so saje nak letak..

ok, nak smbung study...=)

super awesome......

this is really super duper awesome........

i had been listening to it over and over again.......

i wish that i could play this music sheet...... 

dream.. dream... dream...haha

exam season..

waaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!

time exam memang stress....

mood pun up & down....

jap ok... jap x ok.....

ade mase study cm best, kire baguslah begitu.....

but ade mase jugak study yg mcm x brape nak ok sgt...... sampai MENANGIS  time study..... =(

ini adalah kisah benar... bukan rekaan... sbb mmg btul nangis.... T_T

it is 2am already....~

wow... it's 2am... x tido lagi ni. hmm, tgk la esok pagi kang merangkak2 nak bangun subuh.... ni sume gara-gara presentation medicine la.. tajuk mmg nak best sgt la kan "MITRAL REGURGITATION".... haaa, amek!!

yg part paling bestnyer ialah laptop baru ni masih belum lagi install power point. so, td brusaha la pi umah bf saya nak amek cd utk install. pastu dah sampai umah nak install plak x leh.... adoi!!! mmg parah.. last2 trpaksa pinjam lapotp housemate..... trima kasih la ninot.. 

tp presentation x siap lagi ni.... hari jumaat ni nak kena present... esok kena install jugak kat laptop ni... 

itulah, hari tu org kedai offer surh beli microsoft office skali time beli laptop jual mahal... haaa!! kan skrg dah padan muka....

oklah, mahu tido....nyteeeeeeeeezzzzzzzz!!!

p/s: jumaat ni nak kena present ophtal & medicine.... bawalah ia dalam mimpi..........lol

cemburu.. jelezzzzz.....

kadang2 rasa cemburu..

kadang2 rasa x patut pun rase begitu....

tp bile rasa cemburu menguasai diri.... mulalah pikir pelik2....

kenape begitu? kenape begini?

kenapa aku dibiar saja?

sementalahan pula...

tatkala ku terlihat insan lain.....

lagilah bertambah rasa cemburu....

aku mahu juga begitu...

jangan biarkan aku terus cemburu....

p/s: manusia memang tak pernah merasa puas...

tak pernah berhenti meminta 

InsyaAllah....... Maher Zain

x suka...

x suka org yg suka mungkir janji....
x suka org pentingkan diri sndiri...
x suka... x suka.... x suka....!!!!

p/s: there is a limit to everything........

aku bukan patung.......